Just like America, but with sillier animals.

I’ve wanted to write in this thing since I got here, but I just haven’t found the time. Luckily, it’s been shitty weather this weekend. So, yes, I am in Australia. The land down under. “The arsehole at the end of the world,” as someone once called it. The amount of miles I collected in my frequent flyer miles account was a ridiculously huge number after just one flight. (Well, a 20 hour flight).

Looking back on it the plane ride, it wasn’t that bad. I slept a good portion of it. Before we departed they said that there was a chance that the entertainment software might not be working. Luckily though, they fixed it so that it worked for the most part. Usually Qantas has an On-Demand service where you can watch a variety of TV shows and movies. But when I was on the plane it only worked half-assed. They played movies, cycling on repeat, on different channels. I watched Iron Man in various pieces, Harold and Kumar go to Guantanamo and some of 21 (just to see FitRec, CAS, SMG, and the many other BU landmarks that were in the film. Turning 21 into a drinking game would get you wasted really fast.)

Thankfully I didn’t have to do a stopover in Auckland, I flew direct from L.A. to Sydney. New Zealand is so out of the way. Having to wait in LAX was enough for me, that terminal was the fugliest place I’ve ever been to.

Flying over Sydney is especially beautiful. I didn’t get a chance to see it until my flight to Melbourne this past weekend. We departed in the morning, so it was sunny out and everything was perfectly visible. Sydney looks like a weird, amorphous hand with many fingers. The spaces between the fingers on the blob-hand form bays, and along the fingers form beaches. I could see the beautiful, off-white sand being crashed into by cyan waves. As you look out past the beaches, the cyan turns into a darker blue, signifying deeper ocean. Gorgeous sight. It’s really worth Google Earthing.

Anyway, after being here for a month, you notice the plethora of variations the country has in comparison to the U.S. Some good, some bad and some neither. The biggest impact on me was of course the internet situation. Since Australia is quite a way behind in infrastructure compared to the U.S. with internet, internet isn’t just given to you like it is in the states. Now when I say given to you, I mean that in UniLodge, my “dorm,” (it’s a hotel created for Uni students, though random older people stay here too) internet costs extra to get access to in the rooms. This really isn’t that outrageous because our tuition includes a ResNet fee at BU, so you have to pay for it anyway. It’s just that I was getting so used to BU’s internet situation that this concept seemed a little silly.

However, Australia makes its internet situation stranger by having it set up with a pay-as-you-go mentality. If you purchase internet for your room, you have to buy a certain amount of GB which is your allotted download amount. So lets just say you purchase 3GB of internet. When you hit your limit of 3GB, the internet then starts running ridiculously slow, telling you that you ran out of internets. Then if you want more, you have to order more internet.

So, it really depends on what you plan on doing online. If you just want to check your e-mails and facebook, then you’re not using up your GB rate too fast. But, if you’re like me and watch things on YouTube a lot, then you’ll eat up your GB rate really fast, and you’ll have to keep buying more internet to support your YouTube habits. This can get expensive really fast.

So to avoid that, I said fuck it. And I’ve been only using internet at BUSC (BU Sydney Center) and the various internet cafés that are in the area. The internet cafés are a lifesaver, you can get an hour for like $2 or less. (Remember the Aussie dollar is buying about 79 US cents last time I checked, so 21% discount on everything, woooot!)

Sydney is a pretty expensive city. This is pretty evident in the fact that Australia has $1 and $2 coins. The other night I learned this the hard way when I went down to the convenience store (one convenience store down the block is literally called City Convenience, CampCo!!) to buy junk food because I was staying up late writing a paper that was due the next day. I bought 4, quite small, items and it ended up costing me about $12. The cost of living keeps you from splurging, for the most part.

Speaking of junk food, one very interesting difference I found were the Doritos here. First of all the logo is different. The flavors are different (like sweet chili and sour cream being one). But also, they have a plain flavor of Doritos. Doritos makes a bag that’s filled with, basically, Tostitos. I bought some once to eat with salsa, and they were pretty bad. You’re better off with the Cole’s brand corn chips (don’t call them tortilla chips or the grocery workers will look at you like you have 7 heads).

Anyway, I don’t eat the Doritos here because there’s no point in spending the money. Also, they have trans fat. I’m pretty sure they don’t freak out over trans fat here like in America.

Two things I do miss are cheese doodles and string cheese. One time I bought “dairy sticks” at Cole’s and it ended up being sticks of American cheese. At first I couldn’t place what kind of cheese I was tasting because I hadn’t eaten American cheese in the longest time, but once I figured out it wasn’t chedder I almost vommed.

Another big difference with Sydney is the racial make up of the population. Most people are white (usually of Irish origin. Most of the convicts sent to Australia were Irish. Also lots of Americans and Canadians around). So in that sense, it’s kind of like going to BU. But if you’re not white, you’re probably Asian (Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Cambodian, Indian (but not too many like in Britain)). If you’re not Asian, you’re probably Pacific Islander (Tonga, Indonesia, Filipino, Bali). If you’re not Pacific Islander, you’re probably a backpacker from Europe (German, Spanish, Italian). If you’re not a European Backpacker, you’re probably black of Aboriginal descent or some random African country here to study abroad. (One game I play when I walk down the street is “spot the black person.” If you’re lucky you see 1 a day. One day I saw 2!)

And if you’re not black, you’re probably me: the only Colombian on the entire continent. Funny thing is that Sydney does have a Spanish Quarter with tappas places to visit, but when it comes to South American cuisine, the closest you can find is Mexican, and if you dig deeper, Brazilian.

All of this talk is making me hungry. The good thing about Sydney though, is being so close to Asia, Thai, Indian and Japanese food are especially good here. There’s a mall across the street from UniLodge and the food court there has Indian and Thai food that is delicious, not to mention a delicious veggie burger.

Also, I want to mention that in Australia there are 5 basic channels: ABC (Australian Broadcasting Channel), SBS (Special Broadcasting Station), Channel 7, Channel 10, and Channel 9. ABC and SBS function as Public stations like PBS. However the stuff they show KICK SO MUCH MORE ASS than anything PBS would be allowed to show in the States. Nothing is censored really. You can watch full feature films on any of the channels, with commercials, but with no bleeps or editing for time. Shows don’t start on the 00’s and 30’s like in the states, some shows can start on the 15’s or 10’s. In this sense the TV here is more loose like a radio station. I’ve watched stuff that I couldn’t see in the states because they were on Showtime like Dexter and The Secret Diary of a Call Girl. They play re-runs of ANTM, from the cycle with Melrose, Eugena and the twins (these are censored because they’ve been censored by the U.S. before it’s exported abroad).

The British shows Shameless and Balls of Steel are pretty good, they’re pretty raunchy but luckily Aussie TV can show boobs, buts, balls and can say fuck and shit. Aussie shows I like include Aussie Idol, Make Me a Supermodel, The Circuit (which is a really good Aboriginal drama), Thank God You’re Here (Aussie Improv comedy), Packed to the Rafters (Aussie family drama), LifeLine, Newstopia, and Rove, who is my Australian John Stewart. With only 5 channels, Aussie TV kicks American TV’s ass.

UGH. Ok, so in Sydney, one of the wild animals that live in the city is the Sulphur-crested cockatoo. It’s the white parrot-like bird with the yellow crest on top of its head. You may have seen this as a pet at your grandma or great Aunt’s house. There are 2 that live across the street and basically sound like a fucking pterodactyl in the mornings. I can hear one right now. They have the most irritating screeches of any bird I’ve heard. They are quite exotic in America, but here they’re like pigeons.

Also, before I wrap this up, because I’ve written quite a lot so far, I wanted to impart on you some of the interesting slang and differences in English here.

Basic slang:

Arvo = afternoon (We’ll go out this arvo.)

Ta! = Thanks (–Here’s your hat.

–Oh, Ta! I was wondering when I’d get it back.)

Heaps = a lot (That computer looks heaps good!)

Reckon = “I think” (I reckon it’ll rain today)

No Worries = you’re welcome, thanks, no worries (–Thanks for your help. –Oh, no worries,
mate.)

Hotel = Can mean "Hotel" but more frequently used to mean Bar or Pub

Lemonade = Sprite, or several other kinds of lemon sodas. If you want what Americans call lemonade, you should look for “lemon squash.”

Tomato Sauce (pronounced To-MAH-to, not To-MAY-to) = ketchup

Rocket = Lettuce, mixed greens.

Capsicum = Bell peppers, red and green.

Sultanas = Raisins

Skippy = Kangaroo meat, like saying venison for deer or pork for pig.

Australians like to add –ie or –y to the end of words to abbreviate them:

Barbie = BBQ

Wettie = wetsuit

Leggy = leg strap on a surfboard

Blueies = Blue bottles a.k.a. Portuguese Man-of-War jellyfish.

Sunnies = Sunglasses

Brekky = Breakfast

(There are a lot more that I can’t think of right at this moment.)

Also, the letter H is pronounced as “Haitch” and Z is pronounced as “Zed.”

(G-u-t-i-e-r-r-e-zed)

My favorite was when I was watching a news report about A-Dee-Haitch-Dee (ADHD) and how it impacts kids. The reporter was Irish which made it even funnier.

Also, I just remembered on my walk to this internet cafe to post this, dogs shit on the sidewalk all over the city, it's really fucking nasty.

Ok, that’s my update for the time being. I’ll write again later with more wisdom from down under.

One of these days, this blog will be filled with delightful information about my adventures in Australia. But not right now. Right now this is a placeholder for what is to come. I e-mailed the bitches at the BU travel agency, so hopefully they'll be able to give me an overview of the ticket pricing. I needed a different itinerary because I'm going to be an RA and etc. At least that's what I'm assuming. I mean, I never got a letter that said "congrats! You're an RA!" But I was one of the 6 people that applied before the deadline. I did put my name on a list that went around the room that said "RA Contact Info" on it, so I guess that secured my spot?

Either way, I'm planning my trip like I am an RA... so it seems like they're just going to have to accept me as one.

I turned 21 on the 29th, I was able to buy vodka for the first time. I got carded and it felt amazing to buy the bottle of poison legally. The guy at the liquor store slid my license through the machine and it played "Happy Birthday" to me. How cute is that? I'm going to have to get used to the idea of being considered an adult. In Sydney, the drinking age is 18. In their eyes, I have a lot of catching up to do.

I'm feeling pessimistic at the moment, but eventually, things will start to come together. Ok that's enough for tonight, I need sleep.

This is only a test.

Penis.

haha.

-Kevin